There are some very funny people in this world. Some quotes are staged, some are simply on-the-spot moments of brilliance that just roll off the tongue. Whatever they are, whatever the situation in which their intention was brought to life, these little anecdotes live on, becoming a part of pop culture and yes, appearing in blog posts like this one as amusing collections of things. In future episodes of Alien Robots, I will be looking at the reactions of our two robot aliens Oscar and Felix as they grapple with the concept of human humour.
In case you missed the first instalment of Alien Robots, click here.
SOME REALLY FUNNY QUOTES
“The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.”
“Never be afraid to laugh at yourself. After all, you could be missing out of the joke of the century.”
Dame Edna Everage
“First the doctor told me the good news. I was going to have a disease named after me.”
“Men want the same thing from the underwear that they want from women. A little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.”
“The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.”
“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBL in Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the US of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in the world are named ‘Bush’, ‘Dick’ and ‘Colon’. Need I say more?”
“Madam, I am drunk, but you are ugly. Yet in the morning I will be sober.”
Winston Churchill, upon being accused of being drunk by “madam”
“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving was not for you.”
“A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognised.”
“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”
“Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.”
“A man’s only as old as the woman he feels.”
“Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don’t generate much interest.”
If you have a personal favourite, please feel free to post it here under comments.